I cannot and should not try to explain what happened here last night. Whatever it was, it was real and lives were changed. Joe Fields and the Camp Exalted staff and volunteers have created a special place for young people this week and I am privileged to be a part of it.
In this last post, Emily Prevost, associate coordinator of leader research & product development in the BGCT Congregational Leadership Team, is sharing some of her thoughts on healthy mentoring. Along with a lot of other things, Emily helps young leaders identify their calling and develop leadership skills.
Ken Coffee’s comment on Monday reminded me of a “trend” that has emerged in the past few years called Reversed Mentoring. The idea is exactly what Ken was talking about — more experienced or seasoned professionals learning from younger co-workers. This trend is often discussed in terms of learning to use new technology or gaining fresh insight from a new generation. The only reason it’s “reverse” mentoring is that, as Ken rightly points out, most people see mentoring happening only in one direction … with an older person bestowing insight on a younger person.
In reality, couldn’t we all learn something new by spending some time with someone with a different perspective? Age isn’t the only factor in gaining experience. My 23 year old sister has a lot more experience than I do when it comes to text messaging, but so does my friend who is nearly twice my age.
In much the same way, there are lots of experiences that I’ve not yet had that might or might not have anything to do with age. Much knowledge and expertise come from experience, which is gained over time, but also with exposure to certain areas.
When we recognize the wealth of information that we can share with one another, this opens wide the door for partnering in mentoring (or reverse mentoring if you prefer). So, every mentor also has the opportunity to become a mentee. At the same time that you teach something, you also learn something from your mentoring partner.
I was reading an article several days ago about some people who had participated in reverse mentoring opportunities, and they pointed out some things that would have made their experiences more positive. For instance, many of them felt that having a plan would have made their time more productive (see Monday’s blog on intentionality vs. formality). Several of the participants also pointed out the need for both participants to have an open mind and to be willing to look at things from a new perspective.
I’m wondering if others who have had mentors or been mentors would have other helpful hints for making the experiences more positive and productive.
“I’m sorry Ray-Ray, you’ll have to sit by yourself. Do you think you can do that?” A mother told her less-than-three-year-old her son as she walked the aisle past me on a recent trip to El Paso. Now, this wasn’t a whisper as Ray-Ray was behind her and couldn’t hear well due to the noise of people on the plane – my point here is: everyone heard it. It wasn’t said as much in a way of telling people that she and her son were going to have to sit apart, as much as it was so Ray-Ray would hear.
Already seated with passengers to my left and right, me changing seats would not have helped the situation. So, I began looking around to see if there were any options for this mother and son to sit together. In my mind I started playing “people Tetris” to find a way to create two open seats together.
While looking around, I noticed that none of the lazy, inconsiderate people around me who had an empty seat to their left or right opted to change seats from an aisle or window to a middle seat to accommodate mom and Ray-Ray. (Sure, it’s more comfortable to be on the aisle or window seat, but seriously.)
At work, we’ve recently been talking about how Christians can live differently and show love, kindness and compassion that emulate God’s love, kindness, compassion and grace. I’m not talking about a simple, “What would Jesus do?” but true acts, big or small, which allow us to live out what we believe. To do this, our mentality must change from me and my comfort or want to an outward-looking state that observes people and need around us.
So, I encourage you the next time you find yourself comfy in a chair, bus seat, car, house, job to take a look around and see not what you have, but what others don’t.
Oh, and Ray-Ray was a big boy who mastered the one-and-a-half-hour solo flight.
For the next couple days, Emily Prevost, associate coordinator of leader research & product development in the BGCT Congregational Leadership Team, will share some of her thoughts on healthy mentoring. Along with a lot of other things, Emily helps young leaders identify their calling and develop leadership skills.
Mentoring comes in a lot of different forms. It seems that, at least for me, more often than not mentoring takes place in everyday life. It hasn’t been a formally-stated, weekly meeting, create a learning schedule kind of affair.
Sure, I’ve been a part of formal internship experiences, but a lot of the most meaningful mentoring I’ve received (even in those formal experiences) happened during the normal day-to-day interactions. The mentoring happened almost imperceptibly over time, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t planned. Almost all the mentors I’ve ever had were EXTREMELY intentional about helping me to learn and to grow, but they made the process feel very natural and informal.
I realize that you may not be a fan of “Reality” TV, but thinking about intentionality in mentoring reminded me of a couple of reality TV shows that I ran across recently.
In “Project Runway,” each week the fashion designers are asked to create some kind of outrageous fashion design. As they create, Tim Gunn (former chair of fashion design at Parsons and Chief Creative Officer at Liz Claiborne) walks through their workspace asking questions to help them think through their designs. He doesn’t do the work for them and he lets them create a design that is truly reflective of their own perspective and audience. However, he often offers suggestions, gives his initial impressions, and provides constructive criticism to the designs. He also helps the contestants understand how their designs might be perceived by others (particularly the judges).
Although the format is almost identical, the host of Top Chef takes an entirely different approach. Tom Colicchio, award-winning American chef, also visits the contestants asking about the dish they are creating. And while occasionally he shows the camera a look of surprise, disgust, or interest, he rarely provides any feedback, suggestions, or critique to the chefs. They receive all their feedback after the dish is complete and the diners have been served.
While either option works well when you’re creating “reality” television, Tim Gunn’s approach looks a lot more like mentoring. In fact, this past week he was identified as “mentor” to the contestants. He takes the everyday interactions with contestants as an opportunity to provide suggestions, ideas, and constructive criticism before the final product has been seen by the world. He asks questions to keep the designers learning and thinking. It’s obvious that he wants the designers to succeed and to flourish. He really approaches every opportunity as a teacher, rather than a judge or critic.
We don’t all have the opportunity to host a prime-time TV show in order to give a little mentoring advice, but when we’ve taken time to build relationships with people, it just takes a little intentionality to lovingly speak a word of instruction, guidance, or help. I think that’s really what mentoring is about. Mentors have the opportunity to share the learning they’ve gained through experience with those who don’t yet have the benefit of that experience. The struggle is really learning to balance providing help that comes from the wealth of our experiences while still affirming what’s new, unique, and different about the work of a new generation.
For the next couple days, Emily Prevost, associate coordinator of leader research & product development in the BGCT Congregational Leadership Team, will share some of her thoughts on healthy mentoring. Along with a lot of other things, Emily helps young leaders identify their calling and develop leadership skills.
I had been on the job about 2 weeks. I was (and still am) really young. I was eager for someone to show me the ropes and help me get started. Even so, when a person I barely knew approached me to say “God has told me that I should be your spiritual mentor,” my first reaction was “Well, God didn’t fill me in on the idea.”
I was hungry for the knowledge a mentor could provide, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about a complete stranger being my mentor.
As I look back on my experience in ministry, I realize that I actually had quite a few mentors. My first job just out of seminary was at Texas WMU; my supervisor handed me a sheet full of names of people that I ought to spend some time getting to know. I had lunch and coffee and mid-afternoon visits with a lot of them who filled me in on Baptist life, office politics, great reading material, helpful resources and who wasjust generally encouraging to my ministry. The list also had a list of books, articles and archive files that provided a great deal of history, depth and information to the ministry I was beginning.
There were also couple of people who worked alongside me who took me under their wings. One prepped me for upcoming meetings, events and activities. And she showed me how she managed her calendar, created her goals and made plans, made space for maintaining health and relationships and dealt with difficult people. She did not necessarily expect I would do everything the same way that she did, but she always offered anything she had found that worked for her as a starting place toward finding my own way and applying it to the specific group I was working with.
I shouldn’t have been surprised, really, that Texas WMU knew how to mentor the new girl in the office. My entire life, I have been mentored by women who were a part of Woman’s Missionary Union.
Two of the people most responsible for helping me to really understand what it meant to follow Christ were my Acteens leaders in high school. The person who helped me learn how to teach a Sunday School class or lead a conference was also my Acteens director, Shawna Ashlock. When I was just 13 or 14, she got me started by asking me to help her teach a small part of our weekly class. The next time, Shawna asked me to teach the class with her. Then, she helped me plan my own outline for teaching. I didn’t even realize at the time that she was mentoring me.
I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Shawna … and I’m extremely pleased to say that we’re still good friends. I know I’m not the only one who’s had a great experience with a mentor.
I’d love to hear from you about the mentors who have really had a great impact on your life.
As Randel Everett has traveled the state, he’s had the opportunity to visit with media members in cities across Texas. I’ve been with him for some of the interviews, and the questions have been interesting. Reporters want to know about the future of denominations. They want to know about the health of the convention.
Most of all, they’ve asked Randel about reaching out to those who are younger than 35. They note that this generation has not had the same allegiance to churches as previous generations. To me, Randel’s response has been the most encouraging and at the same time most dangerous thing he’s said since he’s been executive director of the BGCT.
From the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal:
Two of the most frequent questions pastors ask the new executive director are, “What are our priorities (in the state convention)?” and “How do you reach those under 35?”
He tells the pastors that the under-35s will reach their own generation, advising them to trust younger leaders to come up with the methods.
For years Christians have lamented the loss of younger generations. We’ve bemoaned the lack of church interest from young people. No one seems to know what to do.
As an under-35 who spends most of his time with other under-35s, I’m not sure we have any magical answers either. But it seems to me that we would be the most culturally-appropriate group to share the hope of Christ with those in our age range. We hang out at the same places as non-believers our age. We share common jargon. We have the same life markers — Challenger explosion, the Gulf War, 9/11, the Iraq war. We network the same way.
It’s refreshing to hear someone who holds a position of influence such as Randel express a need to trust younger generations. Too many of my friends say they don’t have the freedom to grow where they are. They feel cramped, restricted, unable to express new perspectives or attempt new ways of doing things. Put simply, they’re unable to succeed or fail on their own.
As a generation, we have such potential. We seem willing to go to the ends of the earth if God calls us. We are networking in new ways, utilizing the technology that is before us. We care about hurting people close to us and on the other side of the world. We want to work together with other Christians.
But with the trust of others comes great responsibility. And that’s something as a generation that we haven’t lived up to well. We’re somewhat reticent to grab hold of the responsibilities previous generations already had grabbed by our age. Some criticize our generation for failing to grow up.
If we’re going to be entrusted with reaching our generation, we’re going to have to step up to the plate and deliver. We need to find effective ways of reaching out to those around us. We need to find ways to embrace the good of what has worked in the past and blend it with new ideas to create outreaches that work today.
We need to dialogue with people older than us in order to grow off what they know and avoid the mistakes they’ve made. At the same time, we need to travel our generational journey, redefining what may need to be refined.
The key to this process may be mentoring. Some of it will be formal, but much of it undoubtedly will be informal. Next week, Emily Prevost, a 20-something who works in the BGCT Congregational Leadership Team, will share her thoughts on effective mentoring. She’ll share what she sees that’s working and what’s not working. I look forward to reading it. I hope you’ll enjoy as well.
We hope it adds to the discussion of how younger people can grow, accept the trust Randel is encouraging and take hold of the responsibility of reaching a generation. For us, grabbing hold of all three of those notions is a must.
A generation may be counting on it.
I laugh each time I watch this video. But it’s more of an uncomfortable laugh for me. It’s funny, but I wish there wasn’t some truth to it. The term “Christian” has some unflattering connotations to non-believers.
I work with words on a daily basis, so they’re important to me. I try to pick each word I use wisely. Words matter, especially when dealing with sensitive issues.
As this discussion about people not wanting to call themselves Baptists has grown a bit in the blogosphere, some are noting that the negative connotations of the word Baptist are driving people away. Here’s a portion of a comment from earlier today that makes this point well:
Maybe they understand what the lost world sees, that Baptist means-judgmental. Tow the line and jump through the hoops that it takes to be officially labeled a Baptist in good standing and then we will accept you.
It’s a logical point. It may even be true. But are the connotations that come with Baptist any different from the connotations that come with the word Christian?
Research indicates the word Christian brings forth negative connotations for the non-believing world. Frankly, I’m not sure the term “Christ follower” brings forth anything different. No matter what we call ourselves, non-Christians have an image of believers as judgmental, close-minded, anti-abortion and anti-homosexual.
I’m uneasy relinquishing terms such as Christian or Baptist that people have been using for generations, even if they aren’t necessarily popular at the moment. There’s a richness there in the history and the tradition. For me, there’s value in holding to the strengths of the terms — the caring, the compassion and the eagerness to earnestly share. People who identified themselves with the labels Christian and Baptist have helped innumerable numbers of people discover the hope of Christ.
There’s nothing wrong with the words Christian or Baptist. At times, we simply have failed to live up to the best of what those terms mean.
Non-believers are intrigued by Jesus. They’re drawn to Him and His teachings. They simply don’t like us. No matter what we as believers call ourselves. Given how we act at times, I can’t blame them.
We don’t need to change the way we identify ourselves. We need to more closely align ourselves with the One we serve. Only then will the label we use — whatever it might be — send a positive message to the world.
Every once in a while I get like this. And every time I do, I start to write a post like this. If you’re reading this, my thoughts finally made it for public consumption.
This morning I read Jenny Pope’s post about not calling herself a Baptist. A moment ago, I read Ben Cole’s farewell to the Baptist world.
Both filled me with a sense of sadness. More than that, they strike a deep pinging pain inside me. I am heartbroken. Two more people in my generation who have decided to distance from the term Baptist. They’re just the latest in a series of people, including some of my friends, who are moving away from using the term.
I can understand where they come from. First and foremost, all of us are Christ followers, not Baptists. We seek to grow in our relationship with God each day.
Baptists haven’t, don’t and will never have sole possession of righteousness. We are human, and we are fallen. We have fought in ways that do not honor God. We have not always treated each other like we should, hurting brothers and sisters in the faith. At times, some Baptists have been arrogant, self-righteous and greedy.
But without Baptists, none of the three of us is the person we are today. More pointedly, without one particular Baptist’s willingness to share her faith, I may never have found Christ. Without the help of a Baptist church in San Antonio, I may never have started growing in my faith as I did. I may never have discovered the joys of fellowshipping with the family of Christ.
Like Jenny and Ben, I attended a Baptist school. Without Baptists, Baylor University never would have been founded. The school that I love dearly shaped me in so many ways. It was there I spent long nights crying over worn pages of a Bible in trying times. I was called to ministry there. I met my wife there. When I need a pick-me-up, I still go there.
I go to a Baptist church. The people there have supported me, my wife and my young daughter through difficult and sometimes emotional times. They are my family. I will raise my daughter in a Baptist church, hoping she has the same positive experience I have had with those who call themselves Baptists.
I work for a Baptist convention. I see how money dontated by Baptists helps hurting people around the world every day. I see and hear of people coming to Christ through Baptist efforts daily. It’s an honor to serve at the BGCT.
As a generation frustrated with labels and institutions, I think we forget all that we owe to the people who fall under those labels and those institutions. We take them for granted, especially when someone under that banner or that school hurts us or doesn’t live up to our expectations.
I owe Christ my life. There is no underestimating what He has done in me, is doing in me and will do in me in the future. When I am smart enough to contemplate it for a moment, I am amazed.
While I owe Christ everything, I’m also indebted to a group of people who call themselves Baptists. Because they allowed Christ to work through them, my life is forever changed. Because of them, I met Christ, grew in my relationship with Him, became educated, met my wife and am now raising my daughter to have a relationship with Christ.
The least I can do is call myself a Baptist. I only hope I can live up to the term.
I’m behind on posting the LifeCall volunteer birthdays this month. Prayers for those earlier in the month I’m sure will still be heard above.
LifeCall Missions
Birthdays
July 2008
LifeCall Missions exists to assist the local church to call out, empower, and commission for ministry those members who desire to follow Christ as authentic disciples, called by God to live and proclaim
His kingdom in the world.
1 Julio Trevino Music Evangelist, Lubbock
1 Shannon Wolf Fort Worth
2 Bill Denton San Angelo
2 Lavernie Lunsford Garrison
3 Patti Barrett Missions Mobilization Specialist, Winnsboro
3 Milton Boggs Outreach Ministry, Cushing
3 Margie Breaux Mission Pastoral Support, Sour Lake
3 Ken Easley Truck Stop Chaplain, Texarkana
3 Cliff Fields Criminal Justice Minister, Houston
3 Mildred Merrill Odessa
3 Mary Sanchez Church Strengthener/Hospital Ministry, New Braunfels
4 Lowell Carraway Evangelistic Outreach, Clifton
4 Ted Claus River Ministry Assistant, Adkins
4 Joe Dan Franklin Homebound and Outreach Ministry, College Station
4 Jim Helleson Prison Ministry, Waco
4 Jenny Hoipkemeier Itinerant RV Park Ministry, Beebe
4 Fran Jones Coordinator Church Health/Growth, Henderson
4 Bea Lewis Texas Itinerant Missionary, Killeen
5 Tony Garza River Ministry Coordinator, San Marcos
5 Sue Hamlin MSC Placement Specialist, Gun Barrel City
6 Linda Beaudin Assistant to Soup Kitchen Directors, Gainesville
6 Leroy Hicks Evangelistic Outreach, Blanco
6 Sydney Pierce Prayer Coordinator, Evangelism and Outreach
7 Inga Barrett Evangelistic Outreach, Mount Pleasant
7 Curtis Gamblin Church Strengthener, Lumberton
7 Judy Lanning Mission Pastoral Support, San Marcos
7 Jerrilyn Warren Missions Mobilization, Texarkana
8 Roy Chancellor Church Strengthener, Wichita Falls
8 Paula McDonald Area Sunday School Consultant, Nacogdoches
8 Tony Saenz Hispanic Church Strengthener, Bastrop
9 Milton Schmidt LifeCall Missions Advocate, Irving
10 Joel Edgmon Association Volunteerism Director, Lubbock
10 Eunice Roach Pastoral Support, Clovis
11 Kim Harvey Evangelism/Outreach Ministry, Fort Worth
11 Tommie McBrayer TBM Warehouse Assistant, Wylie
12 Susan Ammons Minister of Missions, Dayton
12 Joyce Carr Evangelistic Outreach Ministry, Diboll
12 Mary Presley LifeCall Missions Advocate, Boerne
12 Armando Sanchez Church Strengthener/Hospital Ministry, New Braunfels
12 Chuck Stone Church Strengthener, Newark
12 Terry Williams Amarillo
14 Hempie Chiles Children’s Ministry, La Feria
14 Gene Culpepper Interim Pastor, Haskell
14 Carol Henry Apartment Ministry Coordinator, Arlington
14 Harold Smith Pastor, Pecan Gap
15 Dorothy Elam Missions Assistant, Houston
15 Rosemary Lawlace Texas Itinerant Missionary, Trinity
16 Carrie Langley Children’s Ministry Leader, Orange
16 Rosa Maria Torres Church Strengthener/Child. Min-Missions Ed., Harlingen
17 Merrell Gilbert Peace Officer Ministry Coordinator, Amarillo
17 Ann Moore Lay Ministry-Evangelism, Longview
17 Travis Payne Truckstop Chaplain, Texarkana
17 Sharon Pruett Outreach Ministry, Burleson
18 Dale Hooper Associational Missions and Ministries Asst., Dallas
18 Ken Weber Director of Missions/Outreach, Howe
19 Cheryl Landon Church and Community Ministry, Amarillo
19 Molly Wyatt CWJC Assistant, Tyler
19 Norma Ybarra Missions Education Strengthener, Texas City
20 Louis Holman Prison Masterlife Minister, Mesquite
21 Debra Black Truckstop Chaplain, Texarkana
21 Gail Huey-you Director/Substance Abuse Ministries, Crowley
21 Patsy Kavanaugh Secretary/Church Ministry Assistant, Dickinson
21 Jim Wells Pastor, Godley
22 Mary Lou Arpin Church & Community Min/ Camp Staff Support, El Paso
22 Cindy Boney Education Coordinator, Dubois
22 Claire Maloney Mission Suppor/ Special Mission Projects, Mt. Pleasant
22 Margaret McRight Church Strengthener, Calhan
22 Evelyn Newell Pastor and Staff Wives Support, Lancaster
22 Glen Wilkins Disaster Relief Team, Diana
23 Ginny McIntosh Bus Ministry/Children and Youth Minister, Buffalo Gap
24 Roscoe Anderson Church Outreach Director, Houston
24 Wayne Clark Certified Teacher, ESL, Slaton
24 Larry Cole Church Strengthener, Cleburne
24 Debbie Gleason Resident Director-Hospitality House, Tennessee Colony
24 June Taylor Texas Itinerant Missionariy, Carthage
24 Fidencio Vasquez Mission Pastor, La Joya
24 Kathy Wehr, Sr. Association Missions Coordinator, The Woodlands
25 Florence Garcia Church Strengthener, Waco
26 Jalenn Ellis English Language Teacher, Temple
26 Shirley Madden Lubbock
26 Rosemary Rogers Lakes Area Resort Ministry, Hemphill
26 Billy Joe Wall Minister of Missions, Hereford
27 Karen Cunningham Camp Support Staff, Spicewood
27 Carole Ross Prison Ministry, Gatesville
27 Cheryl Selby Ex-offender Aftercare/ Resource Coordinator, Austin
28 Alfred Barnett Conroe
28 Alton Conner, Jr. Coordinator of Volunteers, Mineral Wells
28 Sandy Jackson Coordinator Ministry Needs & Resources, San Antonio
28 Tracy Pemberton Itinerant Evangelism Outreach, Becida
29 Patty Bevill Texas Itinerant Missionariy, San Benito
29 Jake Cofield Evangelism/Student Ministry, Lubbock
29 Norma Jetton Church Strengtheners, Clovis
29 Merle Jean Shell Intercessory Prayer Ministry, Liberty
30 David Jones Church Planter, Freeport
30 Julia Torres Church Strengthener, Grand Prairie
31 Sherry Civil Associational Handyman Mininstry, Canyon
31 Kevin Oakley Church Strengthener, Amarillo
31 John Reglin Criminal Justice Ministry, Plano
Volunteer programs are made possible through your support of the Cooperative Program through the Baptist General Convention of Texas.
The Mary Hill Davis Offering for Texas Missions™ supports the recruiting and assignment of volunteer missionaries.
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